To maintain the status quo

Things have just “been” for the last week or so.  Daniel isn’t really doing anything new, I haven’t done anything that exciting, work hasn’t really changed at all.  I’m making a conscious effort to eat less and I’ve been recording my weight daily, but I haven’t put it into the computer or looked to see if my trend is downward.  It’s only been about 8 days.

The CAL team is doing well.  We’re 3-1, we added another starter, which makes us significantly better as a whole, but the downside is that a previous starter has to sit.  But, we’re doing really well so far, halfway through the season.  3 more weeks, 4 more matches…

I think I’m just about done upgrading my computer for a while.  I had considered getting a new sound card, but now that I got the whole “using 5.1 headphones set on 2-channel mode” thing figured out, it seems kind of pointless.  I upgraded to an A64 X2 4400+ (S939) yesterday and got about a 50 fps jump.  I also purchased a Logitech G5 and G15 over the past month and I’m quite happy with both.  I’ll probably get a new video card when the price drops after DX10 cards come out.  I’m not in a rush…my 6600GT OC is sufficient for what I do.  I’m going to add a fan controller, I think, so that either the 3 case fans or those 3 + the CPU fan are all tied into the same thermal reading.  I really don’t think it’s necessary to have them running at full speed (read: high dB) when I’m watching a movie, surfing the web, or listening to music…especially when the sound invades my headphones.  On the otherhand, the noise level is forcing me to turn it off when I’m not using it (when I go to bed or leave the house), which should save some money on the power bill.

I’ve been thinking more and more about switching churches…I’m so torn.  I really like the minister, I like what he’s trying to do with the church and I’m completely on board with it, and I like some of the people.  But the church is predominantly older.  There are a few people who have been through divorce, but none in my age group…and there are only a handful of people in my age group.  There are about 5 people who attend regularly who are 2-5 years younger than me, 1 person who attends semi-regularly who is about my age, and a few couples that are a few years older than me (early 30s) with children that are mostly older than Daniel.  None of the people in my age bracket or younger have been through what I have.  It’s just really tough to fit in.  3-4 years ago, we used to go out and do things with people from church.  Dinner, activities, shopping, whatever.  Now I rarely get called, almost never go to lunch after church, and basically put in my hour of worship and go home.  It’s very isolating.  *sigh*  I talk to other people who go to other churches with active 20-somethings groups, active singles groups, active divorced groups, active parenting groups (though I don’t know about active single parenting groups), and it seems so nice.  But I don’t want to give up on my church…there’s a lot of potential there, if people can just get past the idea of “this is how it’s always been done” and start growing.  It’s unfortunate to think that in the next 10 years, a lot of the regulars who attend that church might die of old age…is that what’s going to force them to grow (or close)?  Again, *sigh*.  As it stands, I have almost zero chance of meeting someone through church, so I write that off…

I don’t even know what else…Daniel’s out of town this weekend.  Mark is too.  I want to go out…but I have no one with whom to do it.  I’ve been thinking about that a lot, lately.  I have very few friends in this town.  If I wanted to just go shoot some pool, I don’t even know who I’d call.  Also, that whole “fear of initiation” thing…stupid anxiety.  🙁

I’m tired of feeling sorry for myself.  I know, I’m emo, but I’m trying to get better.  :)  And thus ends today’s stream of consciousness.

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